Sharing this with friends sometimes makes it worse despite their good intentions.  They’re concerned for me: I shouldn’t feel guilty, I’ll get through it, it’s his journey, etc. Yes, but – it’s my journey too. It’s personal, it’s weird, it’s time-consuming, and it’s apparently my journey.  The Greenwich village perspective is almost too liberal. Even at my most progressive and compassionate, this feels freaky. It’s fine for other people. But me? No, not me. Damn, I hate these lessons in humility, well, specifically, this fucking lesson in humility. It offends my vanity, my sensibility, my vision of reality. And then, when I start the “Why me’s,” I’m reminded, “Why not me?”

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