The Sleep Thing

He’s having trouble sleeping, has had for a long time. Me too. Waking early this AM, I’m filled with “middle of the night anger.” Thanks, Elizabeth Kugler-Ross. All displaced, at my friend, at myself, at the overwhelm of my schedule (which is probably a blessing), at the whole fucking grief process. At the loss of my son. At the loss of my son. At the loss of my son. Got a little manic before our writing workshop, trying to psych myself up, making jokes at my own expense. My friend carried the theme through and that pissed me off, and I wanted to strike her. I am so sensitive, so mercurial. A scene on Thirteen from “Ordinary People” with Tim Hutton and Mary Tyler Moore – the inability to communicate between mother and son. I lost it completely. And then…I was back.


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